getting it off

our muse-ings today come from germany via yahoo news. apparently our german friends are developing a brand new penis toy. According to the developer, jan vinzenz krause, they are "trying to develop the perfect condom for men that's suited to every size of penis."

men need another reason to play with their penises.

no, seriously.

in this instance, there seems to be some practicality involved in putting an erect penis in a can and then pushing a button. though this would seem moderately terrifying to me (mild paranoia about such things -- it's why i don't use the `shift' key unless it's to evoke an alternate reality, such as a parenthetical phrase like this one) apparently it's the kind of go-gadget that tends to appeal to my brothers. listen to how krause describes it:

"It works by spraying on latex from nozzles on all sides," he said. "We call it the '360 degree procedure' -- once round and from top to bottom. It's a bit like a car wash."

i can see it now. "time to put on the wrapper, baby. here, just put that sweet baby in this can... no, honestly honey, it's just like a car wash for your prick! drive it in, once around and... oh come on, just put it in honey, it won't hurt... at least, i don't think it hurts... no, seriously! they say it's just like a car wash! what's not to like, here? you like cars, don't you?"

i'm all for helping people have better and more fulfilling sex lives and am in some senses looking forward to seeing some guy actually put his precious pee-pee into an anonymous canister to coat it with vulcanized latex. the laugh-factor alone ought to be right off the scale.